A fresh new start ...

I've been out of the writing scene for far too long now. Not only from technical writing, but also from personal writing and expression of my thoughts in general. I'm going to make a valid attempt to put a fresh set of paint on my personal site and to make a valid effort to use my writing ability.

I'm planning on keeping some paper and a pencil with me at all times. I've found that I often have a moment of inspiration, creativity, or motivation. What I end up doing with that it is trying to take a mental note so that I can process it later. But, ultimately, what ends up happening is that after that moment passes it has been a) completely sequestered and forgotten; or b) vaguely remembered, but often I find that when I try to expound on it I'm just trying to process a memory rather than living that true creativity that initially felt inspirational.

I'm also going to make a valid attempt to stop being such a perfectionist. As a software developer, as a writer, as a husband, and just in general. I feel like the inner child in me just wants to pick up a crayon and create something, but the adult in me is constantly telling him that it won't be any good, so be quiet.

I've fallen in to an extremely bad habit of thinking that things that I do or show to the world should be "perfect." Or as close to perfect as I can get them. Even though, I'm fully aware that there is no such thing as perfect. At some subconscious level I find myself not finishing projects or, worse, not starting a project, because I'm too embarrassed that I've not done as well as someone else would have done.

But no longer … this is me. My art. My thoughts. My creativity. My inner child in me will have a chance to color with his crayons and not worry about what the the adolescent me thinks about it. It's time to create. It's time to just be me.